Carnegie

Notes from 'How to win friends and influence people'

Fundamental techniques in handling people

1. Don't criticise, condemn or complain
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person and eager want

Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people
2. Smile
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
4. Be a good listener.  Encourage others to talk about themselves
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions.  Never say "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
4. Begin in a friendly way
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view
9. Be sympathetic about the other person's ideas and desires
10. Appeal to the nobler motives
11. Dramatise your ideas
12. Throw down a challenge

Be a leader

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
5. Let the other person save face
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.  Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
8. Use encouragement.  Make the fault seem easy to correct
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest